Reason, season or a lifetime…

I’m going to a 21st tonight.

It’s an odd feeling telling folks as I get a weird questioning look back….

You’re going to a 21st…? But aren’t you way past that?”

Apparently not and I like it.

The birthday girl is a dynamo woman….aspiring model, full of life and is on her quest to rule the world with the beautiful ignorance that only youth can give you.  I met her 3 years ago and lately I’ve really started appreciating her friendship.

We don’t chat often, but when we do it’s a connecting conversation about my goals, her goals and moving forward in life…..

She reminds me of me when I was 21 (accept I didn’t have her killer body and double D natural boobies!)

I had a birthday lunch last Sunday and had 5 close friends there and she was one of them….  Part way through conversations she mentioned, “I was going to send you these photos that I look at when I work-out, as I know you are getting back into your training after having bub…”

I was touched, but also thought we are worlds apart.

She works-out twice a day for at least 1 hr each time.

I work out when I pick my little girl up after hearing the words…”Up, Mumma, Up!

She keeps up her tanning, beauty routine and always looks fabulous.

I wear hats as part of my hair grooming and have figured out that dark coloured clothes hide food smears (from my baby, not me!) and loose clothes are more slimming.

But, it meant more to me that she was there, made the effort to celebrate my birthday and shared those thoughts with me.  She cares.

I keep having a fight with another friend, but that fight is in my head. I don’t know if she knows that I’m upset, and I’m over trying to catch up, because all I get is voicemail and vague texts occasionally.

The scenes play out in my head of what I want to say and what she’ll say back.  We had another fight last night as I went to sleep….I think I won.

But friendships are a two way street and god knows I’m not perfect.

I keep weighing up whether it’s “worth it” to have a chat with her, but I keep parking it.

My Uncle Jim tells me, “Always leave a profit Jodie where ever you go and whoever you touch….”

Ok, ok…. I get it.

I don’t always like it, but I guess it’s not meant to be all about me.

Shocking I know.

Now, what to wear for tonight….?